If We Cut Out The Bad Well Then We'd Have Nothing Left

Jared was on his way home today but instead of my mind being on seeing him I was freaking out about telling him I loved him. How was I going to do it? My hands shook from the nerve of it all.

I’d never loved anyone like this, I mean I’d been in love, sure but not in this way. With Jared I could actually spend the rest of my life with him. Butterflies danced in my stomach at the thought.

I called a limo driver. Not because I was to show off or anything and arrive at the airport to pick up Jared in a limo, it’s just I was in no state to drive. It wouldn’t be safe.

Pacing around the room; I couldn’t sit still waiting for the limo driver. My skin tingled all over as if I was having a feather ticking down my spine, sending shivers over my body. I felt hot and cold at the same time and I couldn’t even tell if my breathing was normal or not.

Is this was love does to you? Makes you some kind of emotional wreck?

It had definitely changed me though. Jared had given me a key to his apartment and I had been staying there for the last week of the tour. I kept telling myself it was so I could get food in ready for them more easily but deep down I knew why; you know when you like a guy and you like how he smells? It sounds so strange but sleeping in his old t-shirts, wrapping myself in his bed sheets as I slept soothed me. Jared’s smell was light but earthy, a strange combination but it worked and I loved it; I loved him.

A call came up to the apartment to say the driver had arrived. Checking over the house one last time to make it look lived in for a day or two rather than the past week. I closed the door behind me and got into the lift.

The airport was so close yet I’ve never known any journey take so long and as the limo pulled up to the area where you can collect people my heart really started to pound like it was going to come through my chest.

Opening the door with a shaking hand, stepping out the door with a shaking leg, I gradually managed to hoist myself out and stand. I took a deep breath, closed the door and walked towards a column supporting a car park above the collection area and learnt against it.

I stood, staring at the floor, just concentrating on my breathing and the calming quiet of the airport. Nothing else.

A swarm of paparazzi appeared and all took out their cameras ready. They weren’t waiting for Jared were they? Shit, does he want people to know we’re dating?

‘CLICK’

The first camera went off. There was no quiet anymore. The paparazzi were like locusts swarming their prey, not letting and go to waste. I couldn’t see a thing, I had no idea if it was 30 Seconds To Mars leaving the airport or not. Then an arm, pushing through the crowd. It was Jared.

He had had to go right around the crowd meaning he had ended up quite far away from where I was waiting for him.

I couldn’t tell you what made me do it now after thinking back but something made me run, run as fast as my legs could carry me to him, to the man I loved. I ran, still shaking from the rush of emotions I was feeling, straight towards him and into his arms.

It was lucky Jared noticed me really as if he didn’t, the speed I was going at I probably would have ended up tackling him or something!

His muscular arms wrapped tight around me and he drew me in close, pressing hard against me.

Meanwhile the cameras were still clicking, taking everything in, every detail of the event. It’s true what they say; a picture speaks a thousand words.

As we pulled away from each other and looked in to each other’s eyes, still in our own perfect world where we could barely hear what chaos was going on around us I brushed a hand across his perfect cheek, his stubble stroking the back of my hand.

“I love you.” Said Jared. I looked deep into those big, clear blue eyes of his.

“I love you too.” I said back. Jared looked taken aback but delighted and as we walked hand in hand towards the limo I’d never felt happier in my entire life.