If We Cut Out The Bad Well Then We'd Have Nothing Left

Jared was on his way home today but instead of my mind being on seeing him I was freaking out about telling him I loved him. How was I going to do it? My hands shook from the nerve of it all.

I’d never loved anyone like this, I mean I’d been in love, sure but not in this way. With Jared I could actually spend the rest of my life with him. Butterflies danced in my stomach at the thought.

I called a limo driver. Not because I was to show off or anything and arrive at the airport to pick up Jared in a limo, it’s just I was in no state to drive. It wouldn’t be safe.

Pacing around the room; I couldn’t sit still waiting for the limo driver. My skin tingled all over as if I was having a feather ticking down my spine, sending shivers over my body. I felt hot and cold at the same time and I couldn’t even tell if my breathing was normal or not.

Is this was love does to you? Makes you some kind of emotional wreck?

It had definitely changed me though. Jared had given me a key to his apartment and I had been staying there for the last week of the tour. I kept telling myself it was so I could get food in ready for them more easily but deep down I knew why; you know when you like a guy and you like how he smells? It sounds so strange but sleeping in his old t-shirts, wrapping myself in his bed sheets as I slept soothed me. Jared’s smell was light but earthy, a strange combination but it worked and I loved it; I loved him.

A call came up to the apartment to say the driver had arrived. Checking over the house one last time to make it look lived in for a day or two rather than the past week. I closed the door behind me and got into the lift.

The airport was so close yet I’ve never known any journey take so long and as the limo pulled up to the area where you can collect people my heart really started to pound like it was going to come through my chest.

Opening the door with a shaking hand, stepping out the door with a shaking leg, I gradually managed to hoist myself out and stand. I took a deep breath, closed the door and walked towards a column supporting a car park above the collection area and learnt against it.

I stood, staring at the floor, just concentrating on my breathing and the calming quiet of the airport. Nothing else.

A swarm of paparazzi appeared and all took out their cameras ready. They weren’t waiting for Jared were they? Shit, does he want people to know we’re dating?

‘CLICK’

The first camera went off. There was no quiet anymore. The paparazzi were like locusts swarming their prey, not letting and go to waste. I couldn’t see a thing, I had no idea if it was 30 Seconds To Mars leaving the airport or not. Then an arm, pushing through the crowd. It was Jared.

He had had to go right around the crowd meaning he had ended up quite far away from where I was waiting for him.

I couldn’t tell you what made me do it now after thinking back but something made me run, run as fast as my legs could carry me to him, to the man I loved. I ran, still shaking from the rush of emotions I was feeling, straight towards him and into his arms.

It was lucky Jared noticed me really as if he didn’t, the speed I was going at I probably would have ended up tackling him or something!

His muscular arms wrapped tight around me and he drew me in close, pressing hard against me.

Meanwhile the cameras were still clicking, taking everything in, every detail of the event. It’s true what they say; a picture speaks a thousand words.

As we pulled away from each other and looked in to each other’s eyes, still in our own perfect world where we could barely hear what chaos was going on around us I brushed a hand across his perfect cheek, his stubble stroking the back of my hand.

“I love you.” Said Jared. I looked deep into those big, clear blue eyes of his.

“I love you too.” I said back. Jared looked taken aback but delighted and as we walked hand in hand towards the limo I’d never felt happier in my entire life.

It had been two weeks Jared had been on tour and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He called me every day, telling me how the shows had gone, the sights he’d seen and said how much he missed me, but it wasn’t enough, I needed him here with me. ‘Only a month to go’ a thought. Hmm ‘Only’.

The past fortnight had gone so slowly and now I’d have to wait even longer for him to return. I’ve never been like this over a guy, never.

I had to distract myself tonight somehow so I picked up my phone and text Chris and asked her if she wanted to come over and hang out. Yeah sure, I’m on my way now she text back.

I opened the door ten minutes later to see Chris standing there with DVD’s, chocolate, vodka and ice cream. She could probably tell from how I’d been acting the past two weeks that I could do with cheering up. I got some glasses and we sat down on the sofa and mixed the vodka with some cola.

“You miss him don’t you?” she said directly.

“Yeh...” Was all I could manage before trailing off, not knowing what else to say. Why do I fell so helpless? Why do I miss him so?

Chris put her arm around me and drew me in to a hug. A small amount of relief set in. I never let my guard down and show my emotions but everything just got so much I needed to.

As we both pulled away she asked

“So how’s their tour going anyway?”

“It's going great.” I replied. “They’re in Tokyo at the minute and have seen loads of beautiful buildings and gardens. You know what Jared’s like with his sightseeing.”

A smile broke across her face.

“You know him so well.” She said.

“Yeah well I do love him.” I replied. She turned and looked straight at me, gawping.

“WHAT?” she yelled.

“I don’t know.” I shouted back at her, looking just as shocked myself. “Oh my god it just came out!”

“Well do you then?”

I paused for a second at this question. I had asked myself the very same thing a few weeks before, but now when I really think about it...I do always think about him...and he’s always the first person I tell when something happens...and I can always be myself around him...and he is gorgeous...and I can tell him anything, even if I’d killed somebody!

After thoughts rushing through my mind, only one work came to my head.

“Yes.”

“Oh My God you have to tell him!”

“What just call him up and go ‘oh by the way Jared, you know you’ve been waiting for ages for me to love you back, well now I do, bye. What a great conversation that will be!”

“No not like that, nicer.”

“But that’s what it will sound like if I do it on the phone though.”

“Well what are you going to do?”

“Wait I guess.”

“You’re going to wait to tell someone you love them?”

“Yes!”

I was already up and making breakfast when Jared walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Good Morning.” He said, kissing me on the cheek. He was in a good mood because finally, I had opened up to him and been honest about my feelings rather than keeping them to myself. Plus the sex probably brightened him up to!

“Morning.” Said Shannon, joining us in the kitchen.

“Good morning.” Said Jared. He was over enthusiastic so Shannon assumed something straight away.

“So the pair of you finally got your freak on?!” When Shannon said this Jared turn a shade of scarlet and I started to laugh. Jared was hardly ever embarrassed and the fact he was made me laugh even more. Yes, I do have a cruel sense of humour!

“Do you want any breakfast?” I asked Shannon.

“Yeah please and also could you do me a favour?” Shannon replied.

“Sure, depends what it is though.”

“Well you know Bob?” I searched my head, hmmm Bob, who do I know called Bob.

“Bryar?” I said finally.

“Yeah.” Shannon paused, then said quietly:

“He fancies Meg.” I screamed. How long I had wanted to try and set these two up and Meg had never let me but now I knew that Bob liked her back I just had too!

“Calm down woman.” Said Shannon. He knew that I loved pairing people off and I was getting quite good at it!

“On another note.” Interjected Jared “We’re going on tour next week.”

My jaw dropped. I instantly went from a great to dreadful mood.

I turned to him and yelled

“AND WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME THIS?”  Jared looked taken aback; I didn’t usually get angry with him so when I did he always seemed surprised.

“Well I was going to tell you sooner but you’ve been avoiding me so I couldn’t.”

“Shit!” I replied. Great, Jared and I were just getting back on track and then he has to fuck off on tour.

“For how long?” I asked.

“A month.” My heart sank and I thought to myself how much I’d really miss him. I wish I could tell him, tell him to stay, tell him I don’t want him to go. I can’t do that though, his fans want to see him too, I can’t be selfish and keep him all to myself. Unfortunately!

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Said Jared.

“Oh God, I’m leaving the room if you’re going to get all soppy and romantic in here!” Said Shannon.

Jared and I feigned a smile, knowing Shannon was trying to cheer us both up, then Jared put his arm around my waist again and brought me close towards him.

“I love you so much.” He said looking deep into my eyes.

I swear a part of me was about to say something back to him. Was I going to say the words he longed to hear? Thoughts rushed through my mind. Do I love Jared now?

“So are you going to finish breakfast or what?” said Shannon cheekily and interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah sure.” I responded and continued to cook.

At yet another lunch with the girls (we were making the most of it since we were all together) and I was thinking about the week before with Jared. I had finally found the courage to see him again after that awkward night after our dinner date; however things were still not great for us in the bedroom department. Actually things weren’t going that well full stop and people were starting to notice. My friends however were too kind to mention the subject as they knew it was a sensitive topic, but people I didn’t know very well had a habit of coming up to me, asking how my relationship was going, knowing full fucking well that it was on the rocks. Nosey bastards!

Ah yes, I’ll tell you about last night. I went round to Jared’s house and everything was great like how it was before all the sex stuff started (or, well should I say, didn’t?!) and then we went to bed. We fooled around again and it was less awkward then last time but I could feel Jared getting more and more frustrated. Not angry frustrated though, sexually frustrated. And who could blame him, I mean we’ve been together a few months now and he was used to just jumping into girls pants. Though maybe I shouldn’t put it quite like that!

He has been very patient with me however, and I do want him, except something was stopping me.  This frustration was what was breaking us apart because Jared was actually seeing me less so he wouldn’t have to stop himself from doing things that I didn’t want him too. Another problem was that we could both see this was the problem but we still hadn’t discussed it. So as I said before, it’s not going to well with us.

But going back to the lunch: I had been really quiet, not my usual self since the dinner date, which is another way how my friends new to tread carefully around the subject. Instead we talked about everything but men. I could see though how much they wanted to talk about men. I couldn’t blame them though, I mean when you go out with friends you do find yourself talking about the guys your with.

The lunch was becoming uncomfortable too, great just what I need, discomfort with my boyfriend and friends!

As the lunch was about to draw to a close Chris looked up.

“Hey Jared.”

Meg and I turned and Lici looked over too see Jared walking in to the restaurant towards us.

He stood next to me and started to empty his pockets on to the table.

“You left these at mine.” He said finally, placing a pair of diamante skull and cross bone earrings on the table in front of me.

“Thanks.” I said. He leaned over and kissed my cheek and then walked away. The girls took this as an opportunity to ask questions. They were over being sensitive and it pissed me off.

“So have you shagged him yet?” Said Chris bluntly with a smile.

“No.” I replied quietly.

“Fuck off, you so have!” Said Lici.

That was it. I just snapped. All the anger that I had inside was released. The anger I had against myself for sabotaging the best thing that had ever happened to me, the relationship with the guy who really loved me.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE LICI, JARED AND I HAVE NOT HAD SEX!”

An arm reached across me and grabbed a set of car keys that I hadn’t noticed that were in the table in front of me. I looked up and was horrified to see Jared standing there.

“Left my keys.” He said quietly and with that, he left.

There was a horrible silence. I got up and started to walk out. I knew Jared would have driven off by now but I wasn’t looking to chase after him, I just wanted to get out, leave.

“Kat.” Yelled Meg. I looked back. She wanted me to come back, to talk about it, but I was in no mood so I gave the girls a slight wave, then walked off down the street, home.

~

At home I sat round not knowing what to do with myself. For all I knew I had officially ruined my relationship with Jared and it was only a matter of time before he called me to say ‘it’s over’. The thought killed me and I realised how devastated I would be if I lost Jared. He meant so much to me and I’ve treated him like shit. He deserved to know how I felt; I know he would understand.

My phone started to ring. It was Jared. Shit, was this really it? Was this the call that was going to end us? Part of me didn’t want to answer it. I stared at the phone for a minute, then slowly picked it up, my hands shaking.

“Hello.” My voice was quiet and shaky. How it goes when I’m trying to fight off tears.

“Kat come round tonight.”

“I can’t...”

“You can.” Interrupted Jared, before I could make an excuse “And you will. You know we need to talk.”

Shit, so is he going to dump me in person? I put the phone down and went upstairs to my room, aimlessly wandering about. I opened my wardrobe. Should I change? Maybe if I looked really nice he might think again about breaking up with me. ‘Fuck it’ I thought and walked out the door still shaken from what I thought was about to happen.

As I got to Jared’s apartment he opened the door. The look on his face relieved me slightly. It was a look as if to say ‘I’m trying to be angry with you, but failing because I love you too god damn much’ I’d seen that look before, but not as intense because I haven’t ever made him so angry.

Jared led me to a sofa and we sat down.

“So what was all that about at lunch then?” Right, straight to the then!

“Well.” I started “Erm, everyone just kept asking me about it loads and it was bugging me.”

“So you decided to yell in front of the whole restaurant about our sex life?” There was a slightly angry tone to his voice yet somehow it was still kind too.

“Look Kat, you know how much I love you and it’s obvious that you don’t want to have sex yet but if you’d have told me that you know full well I’d have respected you and what you wanted or didn’t want to do.”

The guilt kicked in. I knew it was all true, but hearing him say it made it more true. The guilt subsided slightly and I started to feel horny! I thought to myself ‘hang on,  I have the most gorgeous guy ever sitting right in front of me, professing his love and respect for me and I don’t want to sleep with him?! I’m such an idiot’. I leant over and kissed Jared hard and passionately, running my right hand through his hair. At first he seemed taken aback, then his arms moved around my waist and he pulled me closer towards him. His hands then lowered, to my ass. I pushed him down, lying on top on him on his sofa. I wanted him so badly and he wanted me too, I could tell by the bulge in his pants. Moving off him, I walked towards him bedroom, opened the door and lay on his bed. Jared walked in, closing the door behind him and got on top of me, pulling off my top as he did so. We kissed more. I yanked off his top and pushed him down, kissed his neck, moving slowly down his body and then unbuttoning his pants. I then pleasured him with my mouth whilst pulling off his pants and socks. Jared then sat up and pulled off my pants. We were both completely naked. He lay on top of me.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked tentatively.

“Yes.” I said, pulling him down onto me.

"So come on, how was it?" Said Meg eagerly across the table.

The girls were all together again and we were at lunch.

Everyone was grilling me as the night before I had been on my dinner date with Jared. The girls weren’t too interested in what happened on the date though, mainly what had happened after it, and looking at the state of my hair, they assumed Jared and I had had sex.

The truth was though we actually hadn't. Yes, we did do other things and did end up completely naked together but we didn't have sex. Something stopped me. I thought back to when we were together: there were plenty of moments where I could have pulled him down on to me, but I didn’t. Instead I awkwardly positioned my body so it would be uncomfortable to lie on top of me.

“You filthy bitch, I can tell by the look on your face you were up to no good!” Yelled Lici across the table, bringing me out of my uncomfortable recollection.

“Can’t you piss off back to NJ now? I yelled back. I was trying to change the subject or maybe just my mood. Preferably the latter so I could just enjoy a nice lunch but my head wanted  otherwise, not giving me any of those endorphin feel-good hormones you hear about!

It occurred to me that telling me friends about how awkward it was last night was difficult. I’d never had trouble before telling them anything but this, this made me feel weird.

My phone started to ring ‘thank God’ I thought ‘a distraction, just what I need’. I looked at the display, it was Jared. There’s always a fucking catch when things happen isn’t there?

I got up and went outside to answer it

“Hey beautiful.” The kindness in his voice made me feel guilty about how I had acted the night before.

“So you free tonight?” He was asking as if nothing had gone on, as if last night had just been like any other date. Maybe this was a good thing, maybe he was giving me another chance, but the thing was I didn’t want another chance and as I realised the time I was taking to answer him was growing longer I felt utter bullshit come out my mouth:

“I can’t I’m busy tonight.”

 I have never lied to Jared before but something made me not want to see him. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Jared let out a disappointed “Oh.” And we both said an awkward goodbye and put the phone down. When I returned the girls were talking about new music and bands that were around. It made a nice change to talk about something other than Jared. Instead of talking about my relationship, I started to think about it. Could this be the downfall of our Jared and I? I always wanted to mention my boyfriend and how great he was and how happy we were but now, to tell you the truth, I didn’t. Does this mean we aren’t happy?

Sorry for the delay guys but its been really hectic for me at the minute.For those who don't know im off to unversity in Manchester and have been preparing for this which is why i havent uploaded another chapter for ages.i just need to transfer all my other chapters, plots and story lines to my laptop which ill be taking with me and ill get to work on it now.ill definitly do it before i go though.You guys better read it after all this effort lol

Love you my faithful fans!

"Shit!"

Yes I'm cursing again because this time, I can't find my lip-gloss (yes, it's a serious matter!). I was in a rush because I had too meet Dree and then go straight out with Jared. We had planned to meet the Saturday before but her kids had school holidays so she and Billie wanted to spend time with them which I can understand so I thanked her when she set a few hours aside for me in my time of need. It was the night of the date with Jared, yeah the one I was freaking out about, the dinner date.

I found my gloss and quickly spread it across my lips as I left my house and closed my front door. Running down my drive towards my car, I threw myself in it and began to erratically drive towards my friend.

Dree lived quite far away from me considering we were in the same state and I was rushing because I needed to talk to her and then get back to meet Jared and every second I had with her I needed. I really needed her advice.

Pulling up on her drive, I jumped out the side of my car (I had the roof down) and rung the door bell. When she answered, I could tell by the look on her face that she knew I'd been rushing. Maybe my cheeks were slightly flushed. Slightly was an understatement as I soon discovered, looking in a hallway mirror.

Dree sat me down and handed me a large mug of hot chocolate. It was just what I needed and soothed me.

"So…" She started "What's getting you so stressed at the moment?" As soon as she had spoken the last word of her sentence I spoke:

"Jared."

"Now why are you so stressed? He loves you and you really like him and you said it was going well."

"Were going out for dinner tonight."

She paused to think, she knew what I was getting at. Damn she knew me well, part of me wondered if I even I had a bad thought about Dree, would she be able to tell? Not that I would.

After a long pause she came out with:

"Look Kat, you like him and he likes you and you said you have chemistry. Basically what this boils down to though, is, he is a man and you are a woman and at the end of the day we all know men have one thin on their mind. You're going to just have to tell him your net ready top sleep with him..."

"That’s the thing though." I interjected "I don't know if it is a case that I'm not ready."

"Well what is it then?"

"That's why I came to you?"

"God Kat I know I'm great but I'm not fucking psychic!" We both laughed.

Just talking about everything helped, getting everything out in the open, even though nothing was being solved as such.

"Shit, I'm really nervous about tonight." I said, opening up, something I rarely did with people. Dree pulled me towards her and hugged me.

"Silly girl, what do you have to be nervous about? You look really sexy and your about to go on a date where whatever you do afterwards you can talk about before hand. Just tell him whilst your in the restaurant."

"How do I fit that in a conversation? Oh Yeh Jared by the way, let's not have rampant sex later on, let's just talk all night then go home." I said sarcastically. We both laughed again.

"You know what, Fuck it." I said. "Whatever happens, happens, I'll just let the evening take its course."

"That's the spirit girl." Said Dree. "And with that, it's time for you to be going. I know how long it takes for you to get ready!"

"Cheeky bitch." I said with a smile.

I hadn't heard what I wanted to hear but I did feel better and as I rushed back home to get changed, I actually had a smile on my face and was looking forward to seeing Jared that night.

                                                                        ~

I arrived at the restaurant to see Jared already sitting at a table, in a separate, private area set out for two people. The waiter pulled back my chair and as I sat down and greeted Jared with a smile and a slight nod (I couldn't really kiss him whilst the waiter was there, err waiting, for me to sit!).

"You've exceeded yourself." Beamed Jared. I was expecting some cheeky comment such as 'You've taken even longer than usual to get ready this evening' but instead, Jared then said:

"You look phenomenally beautiful." I sat, slightly wide-eyed. Never had anyone given me such a lovely compliment before. Was this just a ploy to get in my knickers? 'Bad brain' I told myself. I must stop assuming things.

"Why thank you." I replied. I looked at Jared. He looked gorgeous, even more so than usual. He was wearing a grey suit that was formal but had a slight casual feel to it as well. It fitted the evening perfectly: we were dining in a 50's style restaurant so there was lots of jazz music played by the live band. I loved it here. The trouble was (I don't know if it was in my head but) the place seemed to have a sexy vibe to it. The whole atmosphere of the place wanted me to grab Jared, throw him down on the table and…well. 'Steady on' I told myself. And I was the one who was thinking he had sex on his mind!

By the end of the night I couldn't restrain myself and as soon as we stepped foot out of the restaurant doors I grabbed Jared, pulled him towards me and kissed him passionately. The wine from dinner had gone to my head and I wasn't walking as straight as I normally would but I didn’t care. I lead Jared in to our limo and we continued to make out passionately. His hands were moving all over my body as mine were over his.

As the limo pulled up outside his apartment block both of us got out of the limo and it drove away. Jared took me by the hand and led me to the lift. As the doors closed he pushed me against the wall and kissed me again. Oh my God how I wanted him.

The doors opened on his floor and he led me to his apartment, opened the door and took me inside. The door closed and I pushed Jared down on to his sofa and started making out with him again.

After a few minutes Jared paused and said:

"Do you wanna go to my room?"

I got off him and stood up and held out my hand and walked with Jared into his bedroom.

"I won't go in to what happened with me & Bam on the phone because it saddens me; all I'll say is that there was a lot of shouting and him being a total jerk." I said, addressing another large group of people. As it turned out a lot of people knew that we'd fallen out, they just didn't know what it was about. If they did know the truth, about how Bam didn't like me dating Jared (which he actually said to me in the phone call, the dick) the gossip would be HUGE and everyone would have a field day with it.

It was late in the afternoon and I was on my way to have a late lunch in a small café with Jared. We'd been dating two weeks officially and the relationship was perfect. In some ways it felt like we'd bee dating longer as there was no awkwardness between us like you get  at the start of a relationship with not knowing the other person, however there was strong chemistry between us, very strong, which is what made me realise this was a new relationship and that I had to take things slow. The thing was the chemistry between us was so strong, there wasn’t much stopping me (except sheer determination) from ripping Jared's clothes off and ravaging him wherever we were, be it in a restaurant, café, shopping mall or even park!

I arrived at the café slightly pissed off. It was so annoying when other people wanted to know what was going on in your life. It was like their own lives were so boring, the only fun they had was talking about other peoples. Jared could tell what was wrong with me.

"More people know?" He asked. I nodded. He leant over the table and placed a delicate, caring kiss on my lips. His touch was still electric to me and the great feeling I got from him kissing me came like a wave and washed away all the anger from inside of me.

I sat there calmly and we talked about this and that, made plans for the following weeks, ate and drank. Just a pleasant lunch.

"So how about dinner next Friday?" Said Jared. A warning alarm went off in my head. 'EEEEEEE'

See the thing is with all men (basically they all want one thing if you break them down, whatever they say) dinner means to them food then sex. The two greatest things you can give a man in one night i.e. their ideal date! The trouble was that it isn't necessarily a womans ideal date. Yes you get to talk to the person your with (after all what better way to do it than at a table by yourselves?!) and you get to know them better, but you cacn always see in a guys eyes that they're thinking something along the lines of 'I wonder what underwear she has on today' or some just blatantly try to picture you naked. Maybe I'm just far too cynical from my bad experiences but I like to think that I had learned at least something from them.

I thought hard. Yes there was strong chemistry between us but for some reason the idea of having sex with Jared unnerved me. I excused myself and went to the café's bathroom where I freshened up and sent a text to Adrienne. She'd know what was going on in my head, plus we needed to catch up. She text back:

Cum stay ova dis sat?x

K xo I replied back. It was great to have a friend who understood me so well, sometimes even better than I understood myself!

I went back to the table and Jared carried on talking.

"So Friday, you never gave me your answer?"

"Yes." I couldn't exactly turn him down because I had no excuse as to why I shouldn't go. Besides for all I knew he may just want to go for dinner and not expect anything else afterwards. I hope. 'Yeh, that's likely' said a little voice in the back of my head. I shut it out. I hated thinking that Jared was just like other men because to me, he wasn't. I really cared about him like I had never cared about another man before and he loved me and at the end of the day, that's all that mattered to me.

As I sat eating my cereal my mind raced. Last night one of my best friends had told me they loved me and I had responded by making out with him so much that I nearly took off the poor guys face! Is that why he didn't ask me out? I started to worry. Had I been too eager? Another burning question in my mind was how I really felt about Jared. I loved him as a friend but he caught me so much off guard that I hadn't had chance to think about how I truly felt about him.

Through the morning I had realised that I liked him more than just a friend (which was obvious now I think about it) but did I love him? Hmmm…

Bingbong

The doorbell rang and interrupted my thoughts. I got up, walked towards the door and opened it to see Jared standing there.

"Morning." He said and then walked straight towards me, pulled me close by my waist and kissed me. His kisses made me so weak at the knees. He really was a good kissed. Wow, I could get used to this!

As we parted he grinned and said

"Oh yeah I forgot to ask last night." He looked down pretending to act shy and spoke in an innocent, quiet voice

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked. I laughed. He was so cute, even for a man in his mid-thirties!

"Yes." I replied. If there's one think I did know-if a guys kisses take your breath away that much, you clearly should be more than friends. On that note, you probably should be more than friends if you're kissing in the first place!

I lead Jared in to my living room and he sat whilst I made us some coffee. When I went back in he was sitting with one leg perched across part of the sofa and his arm draped along the back. Damn he looked hot, even when he was just sitting there!

As we sat we talked. Just about random stuff as we usually would. It was great because there was no awkwardness between us. The transition from being friends to boyfriend and girlfriend had been unnoticeable, apart from the kissing, obviously!

I decided to use this time to ask Jared bout some things that were on my mind. So I just dived right in and said:

"So if you loved me…" Jared looked up from his mug "Why did you take so long to tell me?" Jared sighed. He looked as if he wasn't going to tell me, but after a long pause, he drew a deep breath and said simply:

"Because Bam didn't want me to."

I wasn't expecting that. Out of all the things he could have said, that was it?

"WHAT?" I was shocked. I was angry. VERY angry. Why the fuck would my best friend want me to be unhappy and loveless. Jared could see how pissed off I was.

"Calm down." He said reassuringly "He meant it in your best interest."

That did it for me. My voice grew louder as I got myself more and more worked up.

"How the fuck does Bam know what's in my best interest."

Jared looked taken aback. He had only seem me angry once like this before, but I was drunk and ranting about something Quinn had said about me, to someone else.

Questions were spinning round in my head like debris in a tornado. I picked on out and yelled it:

"So when did he tell you not to tell me?"

"At the beach party."

Suddenly everything clicked. The beach party. Jared wanted to tell me something then Bam interrupted. Then Bam lectured Jared.

"What did Bam say you?" I said, calmer as I was beginning to understand slightly what was going on.

Jared sighed again and looked into his coffee. He stuck in his little finger and stirred around some of the froth on top.

"He said a man whore like me doesn't deserve a girl like you. You're too good for me and he didn't want to see me hurt you." I was angry again but this time I didn't yell.

"But I know you'd never hurt me." I put my hand on his cheek and he looked at me. I looked in to his perfect blue eyes and sighed. I knew how he felt about me.

"I'm glad you realise that. I really do love you Kat." I knew he meant every word. I could tell. That's the good thing about us being friends first-I knew Jared, very well indeed.

I leant over and kissed him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend and I was realising I did have feelings for him, strong ones. My reaction to what Bam had said had made me realise this. I was hurt for Jared by what Bam had said. How could he be so cruel? Usually I'd let my friends criticise my boyfriends or give me advice on people I should and shouldn't date but then again this was more than a criticism, this was him controlling who I dated, like I had no choice and I couldn’t make the decision myself.

Jared continued again:

"I tried to date other people like Bam suggested to try and forget about you, to try and get over you but it just made me feel worse."

"That's it." I said "I' gonna call Bam." Jared looked horrified.

"No, you can't, he'll know I've said something."

"Well good, he can also know how much of a dick he is too." I wasn't going to back down and Jared knew it, so he gave in. I picked up my phone and dialled Bam's number.

"Hey Kitty Kat." Bam answered.

"Don't you fucking Kitty Kat me." I yelled back.

I stared at him, opened mouthed, my mind completely blank and for once in my life I had nothing to say!

He looked back. I think he was slightly horrified because I hadn't said anything for what seemed like ages. I couldn’t stand the silence any longer. I searched my head for something to say, anything.

"How long for?" It wasn't the greatest thing I could have said but at least it was something. Jared looked grateful that I hadn't freaked out. He looked down at his hands again.

"Quite a while."  He said, not looking up. My mind had gone blank again. I had no idea what to say again, but I knew what to do. I leaned over and turned his head so he was looking at me. He looked at me and then looked down again. I moved closer to him and leaned in more. A jolt of excitement ran threw me as out lips touched. I brought his head closer towards mine and our lips were pressed closer together. Then I moved away slightly and looked at him, observing his facial expression, still trying to work out what he was thinking or what he had thought of me kissing him. He moved towards me and rested his hand on the back of my head and drew me in close and again our lips touched but this time our lips were moving. I was making out with my best friend, but I didn’t care. The thing is, it felt so right. There was a strong chemistry I could feel between us. Butterflies felt like they were flying around my stomach.

As our kissing grew more passionate, Jared pushed me down and lay on top of me. One of my hands was running through his silky, brown hair and the other was moving around his back and I could feel his perfect muscles through his shirt.

I had never kissed anyone like this before, either. The butterflies in my stomach were moving faster and faster. I felt that it could have exploded and wherever his hand touched my skin, be it on my neck or my hip, my skin tingled as if his touch was somewhat electric.

How long we were there I don’t know, we just lay there, kissing, not stopping for breath.

Eventually, the perfect kiss came to an end and Jared lay there on top of me and kissed my face. He then moved so that he was lying next to me and we went back to how we were earlier with me resting my head on his chest.

"Wow!" said Jared with a smile, after he had gathered himself.

"Yeah, Wow!" I said looking up at him and smiling back. Hopefully the kiss had been as amazing for him as it was for me.

After a few minutes Jared sat up and looked at me

"Weren’t you supposed to be going home?" he asked.

"Yeah." I replied.

"Well come on then, I'll walk you back." And with that he stood up and held out his hand to help me up and then kept his hand entwined in mine and that's how we walked home- hand-in-hand. It was perfect.

Walking up the street towards Seventh we saw our friends pouring out of the club, all hand-in-hand as well with their partners. As Shannon noticed us walking up the street he yelled

"WHEY!" When everyone turned and realised what he was cheering about they joined in. Everyone except Bam. Was it me or did he seem unhappy? Maybe he and Missy had had some sort of argument. But she looked glad to see I was happy so what was wrong with him? Oh well. I was too pleased to care. I turned to Jared and kissed his cheek and he turned to me and grinned. I was just SO happy at this point in time, It was kind of weird! But in a good way of course!

"Finally." said Mikey "I was beginning to think you two were never going to realise you liked each other!" Everyone laughed and shouts of agreement came from various people.

After sometime Lici said

"It's getting late." So we all said our goodbyes and Jared and I walked away towards my house. When we came to my door I paused thinking what to do next. I didn't want him to come in, because I knew if he did come in what he'd expect. He could tell what I was thinking by the look on my face and said:
"Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow." It was nice to not feel pressured (yes even people of my age still get pressured by guys!) He then brought me close to him and kissed me again. After another amazing kiss that lasted for ages (not that I minded) I went inside closed my door and sat in front of it, hugging my knees. Everything had gone so quickly. Was it a mistake to be more than friends with Jared? I couldn't help remembering how glad I felt when we were together. I then thought of all the other times we had spent together. We had always had fun. We always got on well. Really well. Another thought then entered my head, interrupting everything else 'Shit, he never actually asked me out!'

"Did you hear what she did the other week?" I heard someone whisper as I walked past a group of people.

I was on my way to Seventh to 'Love Night' even though I was alone and dateless (though it was partly my own fault as I could have gone with Jake if I hadn't broken up with him).

I still felt in a good mood though, as I was seeing loads of my friends who had come to L.A especially for the event. The only thing was that Jared would be there and I hadn't seen or heard from him since he failed to notice I was across the street from him, when I was on my date with Jake. Or did he notice? I couldn't tell. But why would he ignore me?

'Oh well' I told myself. Nothing was going to bring me down this evening, not even Jared mauling another random girl!

As I approached Seventh I could hear 'Kiss From A Rose' by Seal playing and part of me just wanted to turn right around and go home but for some reason something else was telling me to go in. Something was going to happen; I could feel it.

When I was inside I went straight over to the bar. I needed a drink, especially on a night like this!

"Shit!" I said to myself looking around at all the happy couples in the club. Seriously, I was the ONLY single person in the whole place! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Just then I saw out of the corner of my eye someone sit on the empty barstool next to me. I didn’t look up and continued to stir the ice cubes around in my drink with my straw. I started to feel a bit gloomy because I felt like the only person I knew who was single and didn't want to be. Yeah I said I'd forget about men but how many times when someone says that do they really mean it, if they're honest?

A warm, familiar voice spoke next to me:

"So are you going to ignore me then?" It was Jared. I looked up at him and smiled and he kind of smiled back, but it was a half smile, like it was forced and it was a struggle for him to do it. It quickly faded and he looked slightly confused.

"Where's Jake?" He asked. He hadn't heard? Where had he been the past few weeks, I've been the talk of the town. Thanks to my exit from RB's everyone not only knew that I was single, but also thought I was completely crazy!

"We broke up." I said simply. "Nearly two weeks ago. How come no-ones told you?"

"I don't know." He replied, looking confused again. Then his look of confusion faded.

"Unless people assumed Bam had told me, because I've been hanging out with him quite a lot since he's been in L.A." Now it was my turn to look confused. Bam and Jared were friends, yet Bam failed to mention to him that me and Jake had broken up. Why wouldn't he tell Jared? Maybe he just forgot, though if he'd been hanging out with him a lot you would think he would mention it. Strange. What made it more strange is the fact that Jared was less shocked he had heard about the break up when he had realised he'd been seeing Bam a lot. What was preventing Bam from telling him? Was there a reason or was I just being paranoid?

My thoughts were stopped just as I starting to obsess, by Ian Watkins who has just run over and threw his arms around me. Lee followed soon after, and within the space of 20 seconds I was surrounded in a giant hug with Lostprophets!

"Come and dance Kat." Said Ian eagerly, not actually waiting for a reply but just dragging me by my arm to the dance floor.

'Accidentally In Love' was playing by 'Counting Crows' which is quite a soppy song but as Ian dragged me on to the floor he started to jump around crazily, like it was a rock song that they would usually play at Seventh. I just let myself go and joined in, jumping around madly to the music. After a few seconds I heard someone shouting:

"So you thought you could escape dancing with us did you mate?" It was Jamie, who was carrying Jared with the help of Lee to the dance floor on their shoulders! I stood laughing as Jared just sat there looking bewildered. When they set him down he stood there. I think he was half-expecting to be attacked again!

The next song that came on was 'High' by James Blunt and we all looked at each other and sighed. How could we dance around like lunatics to this?!

Lostprophets all headed over to where MCR, Shannon, Tomo, Bam, Missy and the girls were sitting and as they all got up in pairs to go and slow dance we all sat down where they had been and only Bob, Meg, Lostprophets, Jared and me were left. Shannon and Tomo however had managed to find some girls they could be with for the night. I didn't know if they'd seen them before or if they met them tonight but I definitely didn’t recognize them.

I got the feeling that tonight I wouldn't actually see much of my coupled up friends as there felt like a divide between us all: single people and non-single people.

Ian started up a conversation but I noticed as we were all taking Bob and Meg kept looking at each other. It was so cute to watch- Bob would look at Meg and give her a soft smile then look away then he would turn away and Meg would look at Bob, sort of lovingly, not knowing he had just been looking at her a few seconds ago. That’s how it went for about an hour but before I went crazy and yelled 'just go and dance together you morons' Meg got up to go to the bar.

"Does anyone want a drink?" she asked. I think everyone else had seen them looking at each other (to be honest, it was difficult not to spot) and said no. At that point I said:

"Bob wants a drink, don't you Bob?" I kicked him under the table, getting him to take the hint. He looked shy but a little grateful and he went off to the bar with Meg. I think they both realised what we were all thinking but they didn't care. Awww!

The next song that came on was 'Your Still The One' by Shania Twain and everyone at the table groaned.

"Fuck this." Said Jared. "I'm going for a walk." He got up and walked away slightly and then turned back to face the table and said:

"You wanna come Kitty?" It seemed like a good idea: the whole feel of the night was just annoying me (I'm too cynical for this shit!) and it sucked watching everyone else being happy and all loved up whilst I just sat there at a table and chatted. It could have been any other night at Seventh for all I cared and as it turned out, seeing all the happy couples was enough to bring me down, so I got up to leave.

As we left we walked past the bar and I saw Bob brush Meg's fringe from her eyes and they leaned closer to each other and kissed. It was so sweet. Too sweet!

Jared and I escaped and started walking towards the beach. I had no idea why we were going in that direction (and I don't think he did either) but I was just nice to get away.

The temperature was warm but there was a slight breeze that had been brought along when the sun had gone down. The wind blew and I began to shiver.

"You're cold, here." I turned to see Jared, holding out his jacket. I spun around and let him place it around my shoulders, his hands slightly lingering there and I lifted up my head and looked in to his perfect cerulean eyes. I held his gaze, looked down and my cheeks filled with colour and I blushed.

Jared shortly continued to walk down the path, towards the beach and to the right of us I noticed a large red neon sign. 'RB's' it said. I pace quickened as I remembered the people chasing me out of there. Some people cheering as they saw me remove my soaking t-shirt, others yelling as I'd set off their fire alarm, oops!

We reached the beach and climbed down the rocks. When he'd got down Jared went on to the sand and lay there. He looked so perfect just lying there. His hair was getting sand in it, his shirt was lifted slightly around the bottom so I could see part of his perfectly toned torso and his eyes were loosely shut. When they were shut you could notice more just how long his eyelashes were. God he just has the most amazing eyes.

When I got down I walked over and lay down next to him and rested my head on his chest. He put his arm around me, pulled my closer to him and I put my arm across his body.

We just lay there together. I don’t know how long for but it was perfect.

You could here the sound of the waves as they lightly lapped the shore and the faint sound of music coming from RB's.

I was so relaxed I was just about to fall asleep. I sat up and said:

"I should probably get home, I'm really tired."

"Sure, I'll walk you." Said Jared.

'I had to ruin it' I thought. It was the most perfect moment ever, but I had to move. Stupid Kitty! Oh well, I can't fix it now.

I had half stood up when Jared said:

"Kitty, Wait." I gazed over at him and sat back down, looking straight at him.

He paused, stared at his hands and began to twiddle his thumbs. He then put his hands behind him and leant back on them.

"It's just…I've got something to tell you."

I continued to look at him, trying to read his expression, trying to predict the words that were going to come out of his mouth. He gazed down again as if he was really thinking hard about what he was going to say. Just as I was about to give up hope and get up again the most amazing words came from his beautiful pink lips:

"Kitty, I love you."

So me and Jake had now been seeing each other for a month and a bit. The thing was-he was more into me than I was into him. I felt I had to end it or it may become a problem and he'd end up hating me and it would be like the whole Quinn break up all over again. Well, I'll see how tonight goes and give him a chance because I don’t want to throw something away and regret it soon after.

Jake was taking me to a bar/club thing called RB's that was a few blocks away from Seventh. I'd been there a few times but I tend not to go as such because they can play really shit music sometimes (i.e. Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton etc) which you can hear if you're on the beach and listen out carefully. Not that you'd want to if they play stuff like that! Tonight's music should be better though because Simple Plan were playing a show there.

I was applying my mascara when the door rang. I went down to open it to see Jake standing there with a cheeky smile. He walked towards me, put his arms round my waist, pulled me towards him and kissed me. He was a really good kisser and he was very sexy but I just felt that we weren’t right together. I hate myself sometimes-this guy is perfect. He:

Is hot (always a good thing)

Has good dress sense (again a good thing)

Can play guitar (I LOVE musical guys, especially guitar players!)

Is kind

Is generous (even though I'm rich, it's nice to be treated and not the one who's expected to pay all the time!)

Is fun to be with

Has similar music taste

Has cool friends who I get along with (I find this important because if you don't get on with a guys friends, it makes things difficult)

And the list goes on. I keep reviewing these good points over in my head and asking myself: why the fuck do I want to break up with this guy?! Anyway, as I said, I'll see how it goes tonight.

After I'd finished getting ready we walked down the street hand in hand towards RB's. As we were just passing Seventh I heard someone call my name:

"KITTY!" it was Shannon and as I turned around he gave me a thumbs up and grinned. I grinned back. Shannon was so random and funny, I loved him, but in a friendly way: he was like a brother to me.

I noticed Jared was standing next to Shannon but unlike his brother he didn't acknowledge me. He just stood there looking at his feet, sad and a bit miserable. I wanted to go over and comfort him but I also wanted to give Jake a fair chance instead of just dumping him. I decided to leave it and continued my date with Jake.

We arrived at RB's and I lead Jake to the front of the crowd that was gathering in front of the small stage. It was fairly easy do due to the small amount of people who were there. Most of the people watching were sitting on chairs and sofas.

Simple Plan came on and played their set and it was good, well, they were but the date was lacking something. I just felt Jake and I didn't have that spark of chemistry between us, you know that feeling of butterflies you get when you're with someone you really like? The thing is I knew in my heart that it wasn't going to work out so I took him to the bar so I could talk to him with less difficulty and told him how I felt. He wasn't happy.

"But I thought I was going so well." He said, hurt and angry.

"I'm sorry." It was all I could say yet I felt slightly guilty because the truth is, I wasn't actually sorry at all. I knew it wasn't working out so I didn't at all regret ending it.

"But there were no signs, you didn’t even let me know you were starting to feel this way." Again I apologized without meaning it. I just wanted to leave or the ground to quickly swallow me up, either would do so long as I was away from Jake who was not sitting at the bar, moping and fiddling with some ice cubes in a drink he'd just ordered.

Simple Plan began to play their last song 'I'm Just A Kid'. It was perfect for how I felt. Yes, I'm not a child anymore but I'm still young and I have my whole life ahead of me.

I think I knew why Jake and I didn't work out-it wasn't just lack of chemistry, it was deep down he was the settling down type and I just wasn't ready to make that sort of commitment.

I got up, leaving Jake at the bar and began to jump around and wave my arms about. I felt so free, like a huge weight had just been lifted from my shoulders.

It occurred to me I was smiling and Jake was watching me, grinning away happily. It wasn't very appropriate under to the circumstances so I decided to leave and escape. The trouble was I couldn’t find the exit. It was a long time since my last visit to RB's and all I could remember is that the exit was in a different place to the entrance but I couldn't remember where it was! All I could see was a fire exit right at the back of the building.

A guy in front of me had a lighter sticking out of his pocket and it gave me an idea. I slowly pulled the lighter out of his pocket so he wouldn't notice me doing so, positioned a table underneath a fire detector, lit the lighter and held it there. Before anyone had chance to stop me the alarms and sprinklers went off. A sprinkler was right near to where I was and immediately drenched me from head to toe, but I didn’t care. I ran over to the fire exit, kicked open the door and ran down the back alleys of L.A. People were chasing me, angry at what I'd done I presumed. My clothes were slowing me down as they were heavy from water they had absorbed so as I ran I began to remove them. I managed to loose the people who were chasing me but I also managed to loose an outfit! I arrived home in my underwear. Thank God no-one saw me. Luckily it was 3:00am and everyone was either in bed or couldn't see me as it was too dark. I wonder how many stories will go round about this if anyone finds out…

"Shit!" I yelled. I'd just dropped my phone again, I was always doing that: throwing expensive or delicate things on the floor. I was in a hurry so I tended to be clumsier. At the time of dropping my phone I noticed I had a message, from Jared. When I picked it up it was working fine (thank god) and I read the message to see what it said.

Hury up xxx

Just as I thought. I was hurrying though; he was just making it worse. The thing was, I was late for meeting Jared at Seventh. Me, Jared, Lici, Mikey, Chris, Joey, Shannon, Tomo and Meg were all going there to hang out. I gave up on straightening my hair (I'd been at it for half an hour and it wasn't doing what I wanted) and threw on a jacket and went out the door.

When I got to Seventh however I arrived to a truly horrific sight. Jared was making out with yet another skank, but this time, I think it was worse than Tila Tequila, yes I know you didn't think it was possible. I arrived to find my close friend lip-locked with none other than Ms Paris Hilton. I stood there in awe. Not again I thought. But this time it was different: I knew Paris and she knew I liked Jared, well used to or do I still? Well anyway, the point is I still felt like shit and my stomach turned itself in knots as I watched them eat each others faces. I felt physically sick and was about to walk away when Chris, Lici and Meg all came up to see me. They could see the look of disgust of my face and took me straight over to the bar. Just what I need: a drink. I ordered a Cosmopolitan. As I took a sip Lici began to speak:

"I know it's hard but he has a good reason." She said, with a slightly mysterious tone to her voice.

"A god reason for what?" I said, slamming my glass down, half yelling as my voice was growing weaker and more emotional.

"A good reason to whore himself around? Well let me hear it then, I'm all ears."

I felt bad venting my emotions on Lici but I feared they were so strong, if I didn’t vent them on something, I'd burst.

Meg seeing I was in need of a hug put her arm round me and I turned and embraced her. It felt so nice just to bury my head in her shoulder. It was so warm and cosy and as I stood up, I felt better and a lot calmer.

"I'm sorry." I said to Lici. She nodded in acceptance.

"Jake Wambold is looking at you." Said Chris looking in his direction. She was right; he was looking at me and I don't mean just looking, he was cheaking me out.

During all the drama I had failed to notice that Jake Wambold from Aiden was watching me from across the room. I don't mean just watching either; it was more like checking me out. I never usually notice but he wasn't at all trying to conceal it, so it was obvious. 'Fuck Jared' I thought. I need someone, I've been single for too long and I wasn't prepared to wait any longer.

I walked straight over to Jake and grabbed his hand and lead him to the dance floor. I could sometimes be confident when I wanted to be or at least appear it. We danced together, our bodies moving closer as each song passed until Jake lifted up my chin and kissed me. It was just what I needed: some sort of male contact. It sounds strange but I'd had not been near a man since I broke up with Quinn because it was a bit of a nasty break up but now I think I was finally ready to move on but that’s all I let happen: I didn’t want it to go any further so I handed him my number and left. As I was outside the door I realised I hadn't said goodbye to anyone. Did they notice or had they just assumed I was still on the dance floor? Did they think I needed some space? To be honest I don't know what I need. Do I really need or want Jared? After what had happened at my house the other week and what had happened tonight I wasn't sure. Once again he had left me feeling completely confused.

'So Jared loves me? What a load of shit.' That's the conclusion I had come to after evaluating everything. So what if his brother thinks that, it's not like Jared had actually told him. Anyway guys like Jared don't fall in love, they like to have a variety of women shall we say, not just the one. Talking about love though there was a random night on at Seventh called 'Love Night'. I really don't get that place sometimes: it's no where near to Valentines Day, yet they were playing loads of soppy songs for a night. It was funny though imagining the DJ, Stubsy, a guy who loves rock, metal, punk music etc, playing soppy songs for a night. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to go though. After all it was going to be a whole night of all my coupled up friends slow dancing and being all cute together and I would just be alone. But on the other hand loads of people were coming to L.A. for it. Bam and Missy were, MCR were as well as their girlfriends and wives, Lostprophets were also coming which I was excited about. I hadn't seen the guys in ages and they're really fun to hang out with. Still, it's a fair few weeks away so I'll forget about it for now.

Wt u up2?xxx

It was a text from Jared. I had been a bit distant from him the past few weeks and he thought he had done something wrong so over the past few days I had been texting him a lot. It was kind of a way of me saying 'I am still speaking to you and I'm not avoiding you' even though I kind of was because I was trying to make out what I thought of the whole 'Jared loves you' thing.

I text him back:

Nm. wanna cum rnd?xo

I was bored and had nothing to do, he was too. I could tell because he always asked what I was doing when he had nothing to do. He texted straight back

Yeh. C u ina min xxxx

When he arrived at my door for some reason he looked different. He had a kind of glow to his face that I hadn't seen before, kind of as if he was just really happy inside.

I invited him in and just acted the same way as I would around any of my friends. After a while I stopped thinking about how I was acting. There was no awkwardness between us so I felt I was able to relax.

We made some coffee, sat down on my sofa ad began to chat.

"You heard about this love night crap they're putting on at Seventh?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I don't know if I should go." He replied.

I looked at him and I knew he knew I was thinking the same thing.

"You have something on you." He said suddenly leaning towards me and gently brushing my right cheek. His hands were warm and soft and my skin tingled slightly as his skin touched mine and as he took his hand away a slight shiver ran down my spine.

"Are you cold?" he asked caringly and took off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders. It was at this point I noticed he had moved closer to me on the sofa: he'd started off practically at the other end and now he was sitting close next to me. The jacket began to slip off my shoulder and I put my hand up to catch it before it fell. Jared's hand got there before mine and for a short time both our hands were resting together on my left shoulder. I looked at them and he quickly pulled his hand away, looking slightly discomforted. There was then a silence. I broke it quickly as I hate it when things go quiet

"So this love night thing are you gonna go or not? I think I might, but just go to see people."

"Yeah I think I'll go too." Said Jared.

We sat for a bit and talked some more then Jared stood up.

"I better go." He said. "Shannon's expecting me back."

"Well let him know you’re here and stay for a bit."

He looked at me puzzled. I think it was becoming obvious to him that I was being over-nice to him since I had been avoiding him recently. Nevertheless he agreed and left to call Shannon.

I had no idea at the time and I still don't know now looking back on it but as Jared left the room I waited, took off his jacket and then went to the door where I could just about hear him in the hallway.

"So I'm not coming home until later… Yeah I know I said I would but now I'm not… I'm at Kitty's…Not I'm not telling her that…I've already said why…No Shan, and that's it…Maybe one day, but in my own time…Yeah…But…It's difficult…OK…I'll see you later…"

That was my cue to move. I moved faster than I had ever moved in my life and sprinted into the kitchen just in time to gather myself and open a cupboard to look as if I had been glancing through it.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Let's make something." he said with that cheeky smile creeping across his face.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Veggie Lasagne." He replied. "Come on, I'll show you how."

It turned out I had all the ingredients that were needed, right down to some lasagne noodles. Getting people to do your shopping for you means you don't always know what you've got. Considering I just ask for healthy food and am not very specific, the girl who does my food shopping for me is very good and I have no complaints which is probably why I never properly looked at what she's got me. Maybe I should next time!

Jared started reading the cooking instructions on the noodles whilst I started work on a sauce since making your own is so much nicer. As I was at work a pile off chopped onions dropped into the pan I was using, and sprayed sauce all over me. I turned round to look at Jared who was busy trying not to laugh.

"Bastard!" I said.

"Sorry." He replied with a big grin.

"Where are your bigger pans?" He asked changing the subject.

"That cupboard." I said pointing above me. "I'd get you one put I can't really reach." He leaned up and grabbed a pan. Whilst he was leaning his body was pressed slightly against me, pushing me back against another cupboard. When he had the pan he stood there in front of me, still leaning on me, one arm holding the pan, the other leaning against the cupboard I was leaning on. Our faces were almost level and we glanced into each others eyes. God his eyes are so perfect and big and blue. I could get lost in them. I think I did! My heart skipped a beat as he leaned in towards me and…

Bingbong

The doorbell rung and Jared moved his head away as if nothing had happened. Had it? Or was I just freaking out still because of what Shannon had said. Stupid brain! I was supposed to have sorted this out! Shit I forgot about what he was saying on the phone as well 'I'm not telling her that…in my own time…it's difficult…' What was he on about?

Bingbong

"I'm coming" I yelled and walked into the hall. I opened the door and screamed.

"WOOOOOOOOH, OH MY GOD LICI" I threw my arms around her a squeezed her tightly. She was screaming too. After a while I realised Mikey was standing behind her.

"What about me?" he said.

"Don't worry, I'm happy to see you to." I said hugging him.

"Come in then."

They came in and Jared came out of the kitchen.

"JARED." Screamed Lici and ran over to hug him.

"She doesn't act like that when she sees me."  Said Mikey with a grin.

Sitting on my sofa I asked them:

"So what are you guys doing here? I thought you were just coming up for love night."

"Well we were but then Lici nagged me to come earlier so here we are." Replied Mikey.

"SHIT." I yelled "The dinner."

"Don't worry I've turned it off for a minute." Said Jared.

"Ooooh dinner, what are you having?" Asked Lici

"Vegi Lasagne." I replied. "Come and try my sauce." I said grabbing Lici's arm.

I got out a spoon and scooped a small amount out of the pan and fed it to Lici.

"Mmmm nice." She said rubbing her stomach.

"You want to stay for dinner if you want, we can make more?" I asked.

"Nah it's ok, we've eaten. I just came to say hello before we go to our room."

Just then she paused and looked in the direction of the living room.

"Either there's an awkward silence in there or they're whispering." She said.

We looked at each other and giggled then started to slowly edge towards the kitchen door. Sure enough Mikey and Jared were whispering. It was difficult to hear because it was so quiet but me and Lici managed to hear:

Yeah…it is difficult…why…tell her?...what you feel …how much…like her?...

"Well that was useful." I said after they went back to normal volume conversation.

"Don’t worry, ill get it out of Mikey what they were saying." Said Lici reassuringly.

"But now we should go and rest." She went in to the living room and asked Mikey if he thought it best if they left. He agreed and they both went.

When I shut the door behind them I went back to the kitchen to see Jared cooking again.

"Let's get this thing made." He said enthusiastically, so we did.

When we had finished cooking and eating it was time for Jared to leave. At the door he thanked me for dinner and said he'd had fun. Then something happened that had never happened before: he kissed me lightly on the cheek, paused and looked at me then left. It wasn’t the sort of kiss that you give friends either; it was a proper kiss on the cheek if you know what I mean. My cheek started to tingle again and I shut the door and sat in front of it with my knees against my chest and my head resting on my knees. If Jared loved me, why hadn't he told me? What is it he wants to tell me? Is that it? But if you loved someone you'd tell them wouldn't you? I mean, you might wait a bit, but if you were sure of your feelings eventually it would come out. If he did love me what was stopping him from telling me? I hate men, they're so confusing!

Two weeks and three days after I had hung out at Shannon and Jared's house and Shannon invited me over again. I felt I should go over and then hopefully I could make up for last time when I basically ran away.

I arrived at the apartment and knocked on the door and was invited in as I had been so many times before. Their house was becoming a second home to me I was there so often but I liked it: for some reason it felt safe. I think deep down I knew Tomo, Shannon and Jared were guys I could trust.

"Jared's not here." Said Shannon, interrupting my thoughts. "Do you want to go out somewhere today?" He asked.

"Yeah sure, how about Seventh?" I posed.

"Nah, let's go somewhere quieter." As the words came out of Shannon's mouth I noticed something was different. Why somewhere quiet? I didn't ask though, I just followed him and Tomo out of the door and onto the street.

We ended up at a small café not far from where we lived. We all sat down, ordered some coffee and Shannon began:

"I have something to tell you about Jared and I've been meaning to tell you for quite some time, I just haven’t had the chance."

I was puzzled, so I asked: "What?"

Shannon looked around and so did Tomo as if expecting someone to come in, maybe Jared himself. After thinking everything was safe, Shannon continued:

"Jared likes you."

"So people keep saying."

"No, I mean really likes you." I studied his face: he was being completely serious.

"How much is really?" I asked.

"I think he loves you, although he's never actually said that."

"Well if he's never said it then how do you know?"

"Just a hunch I guess, but after all I am his brother."

He did have a point but it seemed so strange that Shannon had randomly decided to take me out just to tell me this. I didn't know how to react. Also I wasn't sure if Jared loved me, I wasn't sure if he even liked me and I wasn't about to sabotage what an amazing friendship me and Jared had by asking him about what Shannon was saying.

"I don't know what to say." I said finally, after all it was the truth.

"Do you like him back?"

"I've never thought of him in that way. I used to like him for his looks but I didn't know him well enough and now I do were too good friends for me to like him in that way."

"So your saying you don't like him because your too good friends?"

To be honest I had no idea what I was saying, I was just telling him things that were coming into my head. I thought how much I needed Dree here right now. She'd know what I was trying to say. After all: she knew me better then I knew myself.

"Just let me think about it." It was all I could say, because I had no idea what else to say or do. I did need to think. I could have done with leaving again because thoughts had already started pouring into my mind, mixing around with emotions. I was so confused. Again! I hate men sometimes!

'Fuck it.' I thought. I will stay out, so I pushed all of the thoughts out my head and started to think of something to do that would distract me.

"Let's go for a picnic!" I said randomly.

"Awesome!" Said Tomo and Shannon in unison. We went to a store and bought some sandwiches, crisps, soda, sweets and loads of unhealthy food and a blanket and went to the park and sat down. I got out my ipod and speakers and put them on and we sat there and talked about everything other than Jared. I wasn't sure if Tomo and Shannon were avoiding talking about him on purpose, but I was glad the topic was avoided. That was pretty much the day: sitting, talking, listening to music and eating. Another random day in the life of Kitty Altravez!

"Do u wanna cum rnd & hng out 4 abit?"

It was a message from Shannon. Hanging out with him was always fun because it usually involved sitting round playing PS2 and listening to good music, and as we both had very similar taste in games and music we always had a laugh. I really wanted to go but the idea of seeing Jared coming out of his bedroom with Tila sickened me. 'I can't let this control me' I thought, so I went and got changed and headed over to their place.

"We have the house to ourselves." Said Shannon as he opened the door. I saw Tomo on the sofa in front of the T.V. so he must mean it's just the three of us. As I went in Shannon walked over and put 'Grand Theft Auto Vice City' in to the Playstaion and we took it in turns to play whilst listening to 'Paramore's' new album, 'Riot!'. They weren’t the guy's favourite band but they didn't mind them once in a while. I however, loved them.

As the album came to an end we turned off GTA and Shannon got up to make us all a coffee. When he sat back down he started the conversation rather strangely:

"Do you know what Bam said to Jared at the party?" It was a very random thing to bring up, but I wanted to know so I replied:

"No, what?" But as these words came through my mouth and Shannon was about to reply, a key turned in the door and in came Jared (on his own, thank God) and Shannon stopped. It looked as if whatever Bam had said to Jared, Jared didn't want me to know but Shannon did, which I thought was strange considering they were brothers and you don't tell people your sibling's secrets. But then that posed the question: what was the secret? What did Shannon want me to know that Jared didn’t? I was so confused. Before I had time to properly think about this Jared threw himself down on the sofa as if he was worn out and sighed.

"Get much sleep last night?" Said Tomo with cheeky boyish grin. I couldn't stand this. Me and Jared were good friends but I didn't want to hear about his sex life.

"I have to go." I said quickly, standing up. They all turned to face me. For some reason Shannon gave me a sympathetic look and stood up to let me out. Usually when I left I said goodbye properly, giving them all a hug and sometimes kissing their cheeks and thanking them for having me but this time I went straight out, saying nothing. It would have felt wrong if I'd have done this under normal circumstances but today it felt fine. The thing was, I didn’t feel fine, I felt crap and I had no idea why.

I wrote a text:

Ned ur elp & advice.

I was about to send it to Chris and Meg when I deleted their numbers and instead put in Adrienne Armstrong's. She wasn't that much older than me really if you think about it but she always gave great advice and new me better than most people. The thing is with so many rumours going around about you, you have to be careful what you tell people and who you open up to and Adrienne was the person I trusted the most. Yes I trusted Chris, but she would tell Joey what I'd said then he might tell someone and so the chain of gossip is made and truth gets mixed up in lies and everything gets made to sound so much worse. Adrienne would not tell Billie, so I knew this would not happen. She knew her husband was a bit of a blabber mouth (well, slight exaggeration there, anyone who knew Billie knew he couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it!). I'm not knocking the guy, Billie is great but everyone has their faults.

Dree (as I called her) eventually text back.

C u @ urz in 10.

I got into my house and put down my bag and then my doorbell rang. I let Dree in, made her a drink and we sat down on my big cosy sofa.

"So what's on your mind?" She said, getting right in to it. I paused to think: I didn’t actually know what my problem was so I decided to just tell her what had gone on over the past few days.

After I had finished she looked thoughtful and said:

"So you like Jared, and he likes you but because you turned him down he's found himself another girl and now your jealous."

"I...but…how…?" I started but I wasn't quite sure what to say. Finally I managed to finish a sentence:

"Jared and I are just friends."

"For now." She replied.

I was about to argue with her when I suddenly picked up on something she'd said.

"Jared does not like me."

"He does, he asked you out didn’t he?"

"Yes but he probably just wanted me for sex, like Tila." That was a bitchy thing to say about my friend, but it did have truth to it, Jared was a ladies man, and was renowned for it.

She thought about what I'd said then said:

"Look Kitty, if a guy who sleeps around asks you on a date, don't you think he's looking for more than just sex? Yes a guy like Jared could sleep with someone different every night but the thing was he was prepared to give that up to be with just you."

The emphasis on the word just threw me completely and echoed in my mind. He wanted just me. Jared didn't want anyone else, just me.

"But he's with Tila now." I said, my voice slightly shaky.

"He's not with her, it was probably a one night stand. Do you know for a fact that he's seen her again or how long they've actually known each other?"

"Well I think they met yesterday but…"

I'd trailed off again. What if that's what Jared was going to tell me, at the beach party. He was going to tell me that he was seeing Tila. But what did Bam have to do with it? Maybe he was telling Jared not to tell me because he knew I didn't like her, or any of the fake L.A people for that matter. I said all this again, but this time out loud so Dree could hear it.

"I don't think that's what he was going to say." she said.

"Then what?" I replied eagerly.

"I think he was going to how he really felt about."

"How does he feel?"

A few days after the beach party and I had just about recovered! I decided to go out and texted Chris asking if she wanted to come. She replied saying that The Used were playing a show at Seventh and do I want to go and see them with her. I did want to, but the problem was that Quinn was my ex and although I still got on with Bert and Jeph, Quinn hated me. So did their new drummer for that matter. Dan hated me purely because of what Quinn had told him about me and nothing else. Me and Quinn broke up because it was just one of those relationships where it just wasn't right and because I was the one who ended it, Quinn hated me. I felt that ending it though was much nicer than staying in a relationship just so you don't hurt someone because you just end up hurting them more. I hate guys sometimes, they're so difficult! On top of that it didn't help that there were rumours that I dated Jeph after I dated Quinn which as you can imagine, pisses Quinn of even more. It wasn't true though. I'll tell you another time how that rumour came about and the truth behind it…

I decided to text Chris back and say I'd go. At least half the band liked me plus they were amazing live and I wasn't going to let Quinn stop me from doing something I wanted to do. After all, he's only an ex.

I'd just finished applying my make-up when the Phone rang. And the annoying I.D booth guy strikes again!

"A Miss Scabbia is here to see you."

"Let here in I said exasperatedly." I wish he would just remember my friends like the rest of the people who work in there.

I went to my door and Chris was standing there.

"Annoying guy was on again." She said with a smile as she came though my door. It was funny really; I had actually forgotten the guys name because I don't ever use it as I usually refer to him as annoying I.D booth guy or that idiot in the booth and so did everyone else.

"Wanna hang out before we go?" She said.

"Sure." I replied.

We had a few drinks and watched some cheesy shows on MTV for a bit and then we decided to set off.

Arriving at Seventh we got our drinks and headed over to our usual table to find a rather horrible surprise: Jared was sitting on the right of the semi circular chair which our friends usually occupied with his arm around some random plastic girl. She was so fake and preppy and they looked so wrong together. All I could do was stand there and gawp. I watched them flirting and then Jared leaned over and kissed her neck. I felt sick. I huge surge of emotion came over me and before I knew it I was running to the front of the crowd which was forming in front of the stage and downing my drink. I then clutched on to the barrier waiting for the show to start. I'd seen that girl before but I don't know where. Suddenly the name came to me. Tila Tequila. That myspace whore. How could Jared lower himself? My friend could do better then that. The kiss came in to my mind and I shook my head, trying to shake out the horrible image. Oh God why wouldn't it leave?

The Used came on and opened with Take It Away, the perfect song for me to go crazy to and vent my emotions. To be honest I had no idea what emotions I was feeling, but I knew that whatever they were, they were not good ones.

After an hour of The Used playing and an hour of Quinn giving me evil looks I went to the table and sat down. Jared and Tila had gone off somewhere and sitting at the table was Shannon, Tomo and Chris. Tomo must have seen me looking around for Jared because he said "He's gone home now." That said it all; I didn’t need to ask any questions, I knew what they were doing and so did everyone else.

It was the day of the beach party and I was all dressed up and ready to go. I was wearing my new bikini and a pair of frayed denim shorts with sequins on. They sound tacky but they are really nice actually!

I went outside and jumped in my Black Aston Martin DB9 Volante. It was my favourite car that I had. Being a typical girl, I don’t know much about cars but I know I love this one! I love it so much that I bought a manual one with gears because I don’t know as many people who can drive them so less people would ask to borrow it! This may be considered selfish but believe me this is the only thing I'm selfish about.

I drove round to Jared and Shannon's and picked then up and then went on to Chris's and picked up Joey and her. The car was now full so we all set of towards Florida.

We arrived there at three in the afternoon, yes we were late but who shows up to a party early or on time? You simply HAVE to be fashionably late!

I went to park my car as everyone got out and went to join in the party and by the time I got back I couldn't see the people I'd brought with me anywhere. There were at least 200 people there and they were all invited. Bam had rented out part of the beach especially which I didn’t now you could do.

Through the crowd Bam seemed to appear and walked towards me and hugged me.

"Great turn out isn’t it?" he said breathlessly. It seemed that the crowd of people was denser then it looked and it was a struggle to move anywhere quickly.

"Yeah, there are loads of people, how many are there?"

"About 210 I think." He replied. "I only meant it to be a few of us but people kept calling me asking if they could bring other people along and then today loads of people turned up. Oh well, the more the merrier!"

"Yeah but I hope there's enough booze for us all." I said. "Let's not forget what's important."

"There's plenty." He said, pointing to a huge pile of kegs, bottles and cans. There really was plenty, I don’t know how I didn’t notice that when I came!

Bam grabbed my arm and lead me towards the drink and the next eleven hours were a blur of seeing people I hadn't seen in ages, drinking, finally finding Chris and the rest of my girls, dancing, swimming and volleyball. When 2 o'clock rolled around the party had died down considerably and it was actually possible to count the number of people who were still there: 42. You may think 'wow that's nothing for two in the morning, this party must suck.' However the thing was the number of people had dramatically decreased because the amount of drink had dramatically decreased. Compared to what there was when I first came there was nothing. 'So many people will be waking up feeling shit.' I thought. Plus people had also been drinking before they came!

At four in the morning the number of people had decreased again and we were all left with a large group of people who were all good friends. Green Day were there with their girlfriends and wives, as were MCR, the girls were there, 30stm, Bam, Missy, Ryan Dunn, Raab, Mike Vallely, Rake Yohn and Joey and that was it. We decided to build a fire on the beach so we all went to get some wood (there was a shop near by but we all had to go in because we got so much we needed a lot of people to help carry it!).
Throwing it all on a pile on the beach people started getting out lighters and setting fire to bits of wood and soon enough there was a large fire going. This probably wasn't a good idea considering we were all quite tipsy (quite a few of us a lot more than tipsy actually!) and it wasn’t the safest thing to mix fire and alcohol but oh well!

We all sat round in small groups and talked and drank more. I was sitting with Lici and Adrienne when Jared came over.

"Hey stranger, I haven't seen you all night." He said.

"It's ok; you just use me for a lift, then abandon me." I said in a sad dramatic voice, jokingly.

He smiled that same warm smile that he always did when we were messing around with each other and then it quickly faded.

"Hey Kitty, can I speak to you for a second." Jared asked quietly. The way he asked was strange and out of character for him: he was acting shy.

"Yeah sure." I said, and got up and walked away to a quieter part of the beach, followed by Jared.

"I just have something that I need to say, it's kind of difficult, so I'm just going to say it. He looked intensely into my eyes and I felt as though he was looking deep inside me, in to my soul.

"Kitty, I…." He started, but was stopped by Bam who threw himself on top of Jared, knocking him backwards so he was lying down, on top of him.

"I luuuuurve yoooou Jared." Said Bam, clearly very drunk. "I wanch Jared for a bit. On his own. Not yoooou Kitty." I laughed. Bam was such a funny drunk and was always very assertive too. I stood up to leave Jared with Bam and he gave me a look as if to say 'please don't leave me here alone with this drunken fool!' I gave him a sympathetic look back and walked away. Bam wanted him on his own after all!

Sitting with Billie and Gerard I was partly distracted. It looked like I was just listening to their conversation but really I was watching Bam and Jared. Bam had his arm round Jared and looked almost as if he was lecturing him about something. Jared was looking down a lot as if Bam had hurt his feelings. I wanted to go over, but I know what drunken Bam is like and reasoning with him would be difficult, so I decided to wait. After what seemed like ages they both stood up and came back over to the fire. Shannon went over to Jared and sat him down. It appeared he wanted to know what was going on too. Whist he was talking I couldn’t help but notice he kept looking at me, you know how people do when they're talking about you? He didn’t know I could tell because I still looked like I was interested in Billie and Gerard. Through the night I didn’t have chance to talk to Jared or Shannon for that matter so when I left at six in the morning to get a hotel room to finally get some sleep, I couldn’t. Too many thoughts were going through my head. What the hell were they saying? What was Bam talking to Jared about? Why was I involved?

Sorry I took AGES.ive been working loads though.ill get some more up soon though.

The beach party was only a week away and I still hadn't found a new bikini. I text Jared:

Shoppin trip?

Yeh sure he replied and within 5 minutes he was round at my door, ready to go. I still needed to shop even though I was confused about my feelings and hopefully spending time with him would help me sort my head out…again!

'Damn feelings!' I thought whilst we were walking down the main road where all my favourite shops were. Whilst I was in my own little world, Jared was talking about something, I think it was about the band but I wasn't sure as I was only partly listening. He did seem so friendly and everyone said how great it was that we go on so well. But then again people also said we'd make a really cute couple.

'No!' I told myself. 'I will be friends with this guy.'

Going into Chanel, I saw the perfect bikini. It was white and had different coloured dots on it and black dots with the Chanel emblem in them in white. It was so cute, and I HAD to have it. I checked the price tag $456, 'bargain' I thought. You probably guessed by now that I am rich. I'm not bragging to you, it's just fact. For work I own a record company (but I'm not telling you which one, it's a secret. And no it's not Virgin, which 30 Seconds To Mars are on or I would have known Jared a lot longer!)

I decided to try the bikini on just to make sure that it fitted ok. As I came out of the fitting room, Jared hung his mouth open in an exaggerated way.

"Wow, I was expecting my friend to come out of the changing room, not that sexy thing!"

I laughed. I was having a bit of a fat day, as all us girls have and when he said this I instantly felt better. I then thought to myself how stupid I'd be to try and make this more than a friendship. I’d be throwing so much away if it went wrong, and what Jared and I had was too special. We could always have fun and he made me feel better even when I was really down.

Leaving the shop and decided to drag him into Armani and buy him some new swimming shorts. Entering the shop he went straight over to some black shorts. They were just a plain pair of swimming shorts and you wouldn’t have known they were Armani unless you looked at the label in the back, however with Armani, they managed to make a plain pair of swimming shorts look really smart and dressy and I have no idea how they do it. As I'd seen him eyeing the shorts up, I grabbed a pair in his size and handed them to him.

"Go and try them on then, you got to see me half naked." I said playfully.

He walked over in to the changing room and in a few minutes came out. I hadn't seem him topless since the pool party I'd had a few months ago and when I saw him again my jaw dropped, but unlike when Jared did it to me, I was being serious. Realising that I was standing there, virtually drooling at one of my best friends I quickly composed myself and hoped he hadn’t noticed or at least thought I was messing around, like he was with me.

"Very sexy!" I said finally.

"You think so? They make my ass look great don't you think?" Said Jared grinning as he in his usual mischievous way.

He had a point actually, he ass did look great!

When we had finished shopping we went back to Jared and Shannon's place. I had only recently found out that they both lived together. I knew that they both lived near me but I thought they lived in separate apartments. When you meet up with and group of people including Jared and Shannon, they both seem to come from different directions. I didn't expect them to be together all the time but considering they lived together you would expect them to arrive with each other more than they did. I once asked Jared about this and all he said was:

"Just because we live together, it doesn’t mean we always sleep under the same roof." In other words, he and Shannon didn’t spend much time in their own beds! Or at least alone in a bed. With Jared, it was difficult to tell if he was being serious or not. I knew many of his secrets, how he would react in different situations, what his good and bad qualities were but I still found it difficult to read him at times, but because of what I had heard from other people, I thought maybe this time he was telling the truth.

Can you ever be too young to be famous?Is it bad to be in the limelight when your so young?Here's some people who seem to manage:

Rihanna-She has three albums which have sold millions of copies especially Good Girl Gone Bad, she's been in ads, on magazine and the gorgeous gals only 19.

Hayley Williams-She's the main person in Paramore (come on you have to admit that about 80% of the people who know Hayley's name don't have a clue what any of the rest of the band are called) who have had huge sucess especially with the release of their new album Riot. Hayley is 19 and 20 on December 27.

Zac Efron-High School Musical was a massive hit all over the world which has put the whole cast in the spotlight as well as Hairspray giving him an extra boost. I think he needed to go on the list, especially at 20.

Mischa Barton-The goreous gal from the OC. Due to the huge sucess of the show, she decided to ask for more money (At one point she was reportadly asking for $100k per episode) so she has the brains to go with the braun as well. Mischa is 21

Miley Cyrus-Hannah Montana, need I say any more?This girl had expierienced the magic of Disney-anything it touches becomes a hit, and all the people involved do too!Miley is 15.

JoJo Levesque-The girl has a music career at 16 (she will be 17 on December 20). I have a job at a clothes store. Seems unfair...

Tyler James Williams-Yeah he's the guy of Everybody Hates Chris. The little guy is only 15-bless. He's also rumoured to be earning $1.2million.Damn!

Vanessa Hudgens-Yes, another High School Musical cast member but this girl is hot  and talented. She's a mere 18 years old. Soon to be 19.

Hayden Panettiere-The beautiful Heroes star is also a Neutrogena spokesmodel and soon to be recording artist. Phew she's busy, especially at her age-17.

Dakota Fanning-AWWWWW. In case your wondering, she's the girl who plays practically every little girl in every film you've seen. The little beauty had been in an amazing 19 films, some being War Of The World, Hide And Seek and she has also appeared in TV series such as Friends and CSI. The little cutie is 13, bless

Lindsay Lohan-It's a shame she's so fucked up strayed away from her image of being the cute little girl from the parent trap. She was so loved and admired but now she's liked less because, well lets just say we all know what she spends her hard earned cash on. She's 21.

Hillary Duff-Gets around $2million per movie she makes. Then on top of that there's her music career, TV show and fashion line which all ads up to a nice sum of $25million. She's estimated to get about $12million a year. Just enough to cover her shopping needs. Hillary is 20 years old.

Daniel Radcliffe-He had to be put in. The guy has made MILLIONS from Harry Potter and has made an extra bit on the side from doing stage performances. He is the richest teenager in the UK at 18.

The Olsens-Yes they come as a pair but they're so thin, it's difficult to class them seperatly (bitchy, I know). The pair came into the limelight with films coming out everywhere, all you heard is Mary-Kate this and Ashley this, they were everywhere and still are.The pair (at 21) are estimated to be worth $1billion. That would do me.

Joss Stone-Has the voice of an angel and a great career and she is now 20.

Brooke Hogan-She didn't follow daddy's footsteps and become a wrestler, she became a musician. To be fair she doesn't have to do anything, I mean look at their house, she's going to inherit some cash. She's 18.

Brendon Urie-The little P!ATD boy is only 20 and the band is huge, I mean come on, you must live ina box if you haven't.

Paolo Nutini-His individual sound already has him working with the likes of Coldplay and performing alongside such bands as the Rolling Stones. Bet you can't say you did that at 20.

Lily Cole-She's that gorgeous model that's everywhere, I love her, she's gorgeous and I hope she doesn't fall in to the dark side of modelling. If you don't know what im implying ill give you a clue- Kate Moss. This beauty's 19.

Chris Brown-He's got up two Grammy awards, a platinum album, and film roles in 'Stomp the Yard' and the upcoming 'This Christmas.' He's only 18 as well.